Starting a new school year is a significant milestone for any child.

Whether they’ve moved into Reception, started secondary school, joined a new class or simply returned after the summer holidays, school brings new routines, expectations, friendships and challenges.

It’s completely normal to notice some changes in your child’s behaviour during the first few weeks.

They may seem more tired.

More emotional.

Quieter than usual.

Or perhaps they’ve become more irritable at home.

As parents, it’s natural to wonder:

“Is this just part of settling back into school, or should I be worried?”

Knowing the difference between a normal adjustment and signs that your child may need extra support can help you respond with confidence.

It’s Normal for Children to Need Time to Adjust

Every transition requires emotional energy.

Even children who are excited about school can find change challenging.

During the first few weeks, you may notice:

• Increased tiredness
• Emotional outbursts
• Clinginess
• Changes in appetite
• Difficulty sleeping
• Wanting extra reassurance
• Becoming quieter than usual

These reactions are often temporary as children settle into their new routines.

For many families, these behaviours gradually improve over the first month.

Children Don’t Always Tell Us They’re Struggling

Adults often expect children to say:

“I’m feeling anxious.”

In reality, children usually communicate through behaviour instead.

You may notice:

• Refusing to get ready for school
• Complaining of stomach aches
• Becoming easily frustrated
• Arguing more than usual
• Avoiding conversations about school
• Crying over small things
• Becoming unusually clingy
• Losing confidence

These behaviours don’t necessarily mean something is seriously wrong.

They are often your child’s way of communicating that something feels difficult.

When Behaviour Changes Last Longer

Most children begin to settle after a few weeks.

However, if behaviours continue or become more intense, it may suggest your child needs additional support.

Pay attention if your child:

• Appears anxious most days
• Regularly refuses school
• Has frequent emotional meltdowns
• Withdraws from friends or family
• Loses interest in activities they previously enjoyed
• Experiences ongoing sleep problems
• Shows significant changes in mood
• Frequently worries about school

Persistent changes deserve gentle curiosity rather than criticism.

Trust Your Instincts

Parents often say:

“I can’t explain it, but they’re just not themselves.”

This instinct is important.

You know your child better than anyone.

If something feels different over a sustained period, it’s worth exploring further.

You don’t need to wait until things become overwhelming before seeking advice.

Early support is often the most effective.

Common Reasons Children Struggle After Starting School

Every child is unique, but some common reasons include:

Anxiety

Children may worry about making friends, pleasing teachers or getting things wrong.

Friendship Difficulties

Changes in friendship groups can have a huge emotional impact, particularly during the early weeks of term.

Academic Pressure

Some children place enormous expectations on themselves, even in primary school.

Sensory Overload

Busy classrooms, noise and constant interaction can leave some children emotionally exhausted.

Major Life Changes

Starting school may coincide with:

• Moving house
• Family separation
• Bereavement
• Becoming an older sibling
• Changes at home

These experiences can make adjustment more challenging.

How Parents Can Support Their Child

While every family is different, there are several ways you can help your child feel emotionally secure.

Keep Routines Consistent

Predictable routines help children feel safe during times of change.

Simple routines around meals, homework and bedtime provide stability.

Focus on Connection Before Correction

When children behave differently, it’s easy to focus on stopping the behaviour.

Instead, ask yourself:

“What might my child be trying to tell me?”

Curiosity often opens the door to understanding.

Validate Feelings

Children don’t need every problem solved immediately.

Often they simply need to hear:

“That sounds really hard.”

Feeling understood is the first step towards emotional regulation.

Avoid Comparing Children

Every child adjusts differently.

Some settle within days.

Others need weeks or even months.

Try to avoid comparisons with siblings or classmates.

Celebrate Small Wins

Confidence grows through recognising effort.

Praise your child’s bravery, kindness and perseverance rather than focusing only on achievements.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

It may be helpful to speak with a qualified child psychotherapist if your child’s emotional wellbeing is affecting:

• Family life
• Friendships
• Confidence
• Sleep
• School attendance
• Everyday happiness

Seeking support is not a sign that you’ve failed as a parent.

It is a positive step towards understanding what your child needs.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy provides children with a safe, supportive environment where they can make sense of difficult emotions in a way that feels appropriate for their age and stage of development.

At Anna Patel Psychotherapy, I work with children, teenagers and families experiencing:

• Anxiety
• School transitions
• Emotional regulation difficulties
• Friendship concerns
• Low confidence
• Behavioural changes
• Family challenges

Sessions are tailored to each individual child and may include creative approaches such as play, storytelling, art or talking therapy, depending on their age and needs.

Parents are supported throughout the process, helping families strengthen communication and better understand their child’s emotional world.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal for my child’s behaviour to change after starting school?

Yes. Many children experience emotional and behavioural changes while adjusting to new routines, teachers and friendships. These changes often improve over the first few weeks.

How long should I wait before becoming concerned?

If behaviours continue beyond several weeks, become more intense or begin affecting your child’s daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional advice.

My child’s teacher says they’re fine at school. Should I still be worried?

Not necessarily.

Many children work hard to regulate their emotions during the school day and release them once they return home.

If you’re concerned, trust your instincts and continue observing your child’s overall wellbeing.

Can therapy help children who struggle with school transitions?

Yes.

Therapy can help children understand their emotions, build resilience, manage anxiety and develop healthy coping strategies while supporting parents throughout the process.

Every Child Adjusts Differently

There is no “perfect” way for a child to settle into school.

Some children adapt quickly.

Others need a little more time, reassurance and support.

The important thing is remembering that behaviour is often communication.

When we look beyond the behaviour itself, we can begin to understand what our children are trying to tell us.

If you’re worried about your child’s emotional wellbeing or behaviour after starting school, you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Anna Patel Psychotherapy offers compassionate, evidence-informed support for children, teenagers and families across North London and online.

Get in Touch

If you’re concerned about your child’s emotional wellbeing, I’d be happy to discuss how therapy may help.

🌐 Website: annapatelpsychotherapy.co.uk

📧 Email: info@annapatelpsychotherapy.co.uk

About Anna Patel

Anna Patel is an integrative child and adolescent psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience supporting children, teenagers and families. She specialises in anxiety, emotional wellbeing, school transitions, emotional regulation and helping children build resilience through compassionate, personalised therapy.